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[25 May 2006|12:18pm] |
if anyone noticed i dropped off of lj and is oh so sad about it, this should help you:
http://tiffcatheryn.blogspot.com - new journal
you can leave comments anonymously if you don't have an account. i advise you to do so 'cause i like comments.
p.s. my 22nd is tuesday!
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[04 May 2006|01:12pm] |
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and i'm done with my undergraduate degree. wow.
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| ... |
[02 May 2006|04:44pm] |
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Next Fall I'll be interning at the Oyez Review, a literary journal featuring fiction, poetry, and creative non-fiction. I'll be doing hands-on editing, designing, publishing, publicizing, and distributing. This might sound lame to some people, but I'm really excited about it. I did a little research on it and Charles Bukowski's work was published in it at one time. This made me all warm and fuzzy inside.
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| blah |
[02 May 2006|07:38am] |
American Lit exam @ 10a.m. I can feel my right hand cramping up already. After this, I refuse to think about Paine, Emerson, Thoreau, or Whitman for the entire summer. Well, maybe Whitman.
Awww...last day of class with Kathryn. sad day. :( No more making fun of Danny Patterson's nervous twitches and suit coat(s). <-- have we ever decided if he actually has more than one?
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| the end |
[01 May 2006|08:57pm] |
I am a complete spaz. This really isn't a new revelation, just today it's more apparent. I'm really excited about graduating and going home, but I'm also really sad about my time with Anna ending. She's been my roommate for 3 years and it just doesn't seem real that she won't always be there. I can't study like I used to. I'm too ready for everything to be over and have to keep reminding myself that it isn't yet. This last semester doesn't really matter. My GPA for graduation will only include my last 7 semesters, so I'll be graduating Magna cum Laude no matter how hard I bomb my exams. I've already been accepted to grad school. But I've always done well and I can't just accept mediocrity, although this final semester has been tough and I might end up with simply average grades. I just wish it was all over. There's too much in my head right now and I can't focus.
Chicago is looking more appealing every day. My roommates seems like a perfect match and I'm excited to hang out with them when I go visit soon. I registered for my first semester classes a few days ago. I'll be taking Poetry I, a film lit class, and interning on the school's literary magazine. I feel like I'm ready for this change as if this opportunity has always been waiting for me, I just had to mature and become comfortable enough with myself. I've viewed myself in New York or Chicago ever since I can remember. I was an artist and it was simply meant to be. Now it's actually happening and I get to do something I love in a city I love. I smile about it all alone in my room sometimes.
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| study day |
[30 Apr 2006|02:05pm] |
if you're ditzy, thin, beautiful, and agree with everything he says, than he'll fall in love with you.
i'm learned to the point of annoyance, plump, arguably a tad manly, and have lots of opinions.
fuck.
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| i need a cigarette |
[30 Apr 2006|09:11am] |
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maybe i'm just really irritable lately, but the whole new fad of "do-something-to-the-advertisement-and-win-a-super-cool-new-______" is REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING!
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| cold sweat |
[30 Apr 2006|05:12am] |
sometimes i feel like all the walls and doors are gone when no one is here and i'm laying in a bed in one enormously cold room. and there is something so desperately fucking tragic about the sound of birds on early spring mornings. my throat has opened up at the back of my mouth and i've become this huge windpipe creating a vacant pain that tears away at my genius.
i always wake up on the brink of insanity from just being alive.
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| ugh work |
[26 Apr 2006|05:35pm] |
So I'm driving in my car at 10p.m., jamming to Kelly Clarkson, with my arm inside this huge condom. - Me to Anna. don't ask.
The apartment in Chicago seems like it should all work out splendidly. I've been talking to Alicia and she seems like a great girl that I won't have any problem getting along with. I'm heading down there in mid-May to meet the girls.
I have 3 exams and then I'm done with CMU.
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| dream |
[24 Apr 2006|07:25pm] |
i had a dream that i met a man and he told me he loved me. then he started hitting me. but he didn't leave and he apologized and i forgave him because that's what i do. and it seemed better than being alone. it actually felt safer than being alone. i was crumbling.
then i woke up. and i felt like my future was staring me in the face.
i am crumbling.
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| words |
[24 Apr 2006|04:58pm] |
definitely my favorite description of my poetry thus far...
a post-coital swim
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| Pablo Neruda |
[24 Apr 2006|02:01am] |
XVII
I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.
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| free-lovin' futon |
[24 Apr 2006|12:58am] |
It's weird thinking about throwing out furniture and stuff. Like my undergrad life is expiring.
I'm glad I'm keeping the futon. Lots of different people have got it on on that thing. haha.
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| oh my beloved literature |
[23 Apr 2006|02:50pm] |
Today I went to Barnes and Noble in Midland and spent too much money. Something about buying a large amount of new books makes me feel safe though. As if it promises me some place to escape to for a significant amount of time. Some of the books I have already read, but felt it was time to add them to my collection. This also gives me a sense of comfort...to have something beautiful as mine.
The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke, trans. by M.D. Herter Norton (best translation I've found)
the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chobsky
selected poems of anne sexton
Full Woman, Fleshy Apple, Hot Moon: Selected Poems of Pablo Neruda trans. by Stephen Mitchell (also a great translation)
I recommend all the above purchases to everyone, but if you haven't read Kundera's book, you aren't really alive yet.
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| poem blog |
[22 Apr 2006|05:56am] |
I made a poem blog so I'd have one specific place where I post my poems.
butterflower
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| so nice out! :) |
[21 Apr 2006|04:38pm] |
Went over to Steve's last night. I helped him find black olives at the grocery store. Apparently boys don't know they are in the condiment isle. There was a revolving air-purifier that looked like Slash on Conan. Sasha licked my elbow all night cause I stopped petting her and wanted to go to sleep.
I really need to work on my Lit paper. Damn this last semester of school thing. Damn my lack of motivation.
I just had rich chocolate Ovaltine (you have to say "rich chocolate" before or it doesn't sound right) and Fat Free Fig Newtons for dinner.
While napping earlier, I had a dream that I was telling Ashley Gould about my possible roommate situation for Chicago. It's funny because I always update her on life stuff during HST 356, but we didn't meet this last Thursday, so it was almost as if my dreams were compensating for class being canceled. Really random.
Quotes of the day:
Oh my god! That's exactly what it was like! The Forrest-fucking-Gump pose! Fuck! - me to Kristy on the phone
Wake up spiff!!! I want a peanutbutta samich! - Mark
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| funness in P-19/27 |
[12 Apr 2006|10:17pm] |
"I'll rinse off your Monkey."
- Kyla quote of the day, while her, Anna, and I were all huddled in the downstairs bathroom growing safari animals.
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| sha la la la |
[11 Apr 2006|11:03pm] |
I just ate entirely too much strawberry applesauce. At least it wasn't cookies or something.
Tonight was the Central Review poetry reading. I read my pieces "Butterflower" and "Naked Accuracy." Anna and Kyla came to watch. :) Chris, Ashley, and BJ put together a trivia thing and gave out dollar store prizes. I knew most of the answers because I know them. I won a packet of those pill things that expand into animals when you put them in water and a "learn how to draw" dry erase board thingy. So if anyone wants to know how to draw a robot, I gotcha covered.
I also had my own trivia question. I have the record for most publications in the history of the Review with 6 semesters. Oh yeah, who rocks? Anna gave the right answer and won some goggles. We've decided to take a bath with the spongy animals and wear the goggles. Anyone want to join us?
I miss my guy friends. This summer I'm going to go see every movie that looks worthy of attendance and I'm making Mark come with me. I'm calling Mark dibs in advance on all good premieres. I'm also going to go bother Brendan all the time in Grand Rapids. We can drink wine and listen to sad music together while I whine about my parents and he whines about whatever it is that he's whining about that evening.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to be attending Roosevelt in the Fall, but I still have the group interview on May 15 for AEON. Both are such great opportunities. If I get the position in Japan, it's going to be really hard to turn down. Who would have thought I would be stuck with such a plethora of opportunities after graduation? Oh man...plethora is such a fucking awesome word.
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